He really hurt me but we are cool

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You chose a topic that is difficult for me to resist so here is my story. Hope you can post seeing as you are enjoying yourself upandan West Africa. Have an awesome time in the abroad though. Here’s my story.

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Grab popcorn because this story is long small

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Lets say I was hot cake in my NYSC days. I enjoyed camp so much and literally had so many guys on my case. Every night, I hung out with different guys every night and mami market was always turnt. I sort of had a camp boyfriend who I really connected with of all the different ones on my case though I had a crush on another guy but we all rolled in the same circle. After camp, we all moved to our different PPAs and I was posted to the state capital. This my camp bf redeployed to another state but we kept in touch and he even came to visit me once. We are still good friends till date.

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I still had a number of guys on my case and I was picking and choosing who I wanted to hang out with. There was this one guy who I used to see a lot in camp and we had mutual friends but we never spoke till the last day of camp when we realized we were posted to the same PPA. I was in Batch C so we had to check in at our PPA before going home for the Christmas break. A number of us were trying to switch PPAs cos they sent us to one dead school like this so we all exchanged numbers so we could follow up with each other when we got back in January. We ended up talking over the break till we got back. I don’t know how it happened, but somehow we just connected and got closer to each other. He even helped me move into my new place and settle in. There were several guys still chasing me that time and they were always coming to check on me and know my place but somehow I was drawn to this particular guy.



 I remember thinking of all the guys on my case, I ended up with this small, broke fellow corper who wasn’t even so handsome. Maybe because we could talk for hours on end about everything. He would even come and see me randomly at home or at my PPA (we ended up switching). I later got to know that he used to stalk me in camp and liked me but never came to talk to me because there were so many guys after me. Long story short, our service year romance began.

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He wanted to date me but I refused because I didn’t want to commit plus I had a bf at home who I was trying to break up with but he knew the whole situation. We spent a lot of time together, went to church, ShopRite (the major source of entertainment at the time), went on dates, cooked and ate together, explored the town together and hung out in the same circle of friends. We did everything together. Mind you, we weren’t officially a couple but we acted like one. Soon enough we started spending nights together and of course that led to exploration of our bodies, gradually unravelling each other’s parts. We had many days and nights of serious make out sessions then will go to church together to ask for forgiveness then come back home to continue. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other smh. We weren’t with each other we were constantly chatting. I had made out with guys in the past but ours was special. He gave me my first orgasm and till now I haven’t had another. We had sex for the first time on our last night after service but we had tried ‘just the tip’ many times before. We were each other’s’ firsts. First sex, first love, first guy I cried in front of and bared my soul to J

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Anyway sha we were enjoying our love and almost rounding up service year when one winch came to spoil everything. A number of fresh corpers needed a place to stay so he and his roommates hosted them for a while till we left. Na so this girl use sand spoil my gari. Prior to this we were cool but somehow he connected with this girl and they started talking and became super close. At this point we (his roommates plus our other friends) had all become like a family and their house was our hub so we were always there. Things got so bad that people started asking me what was going on between the both of them. I trusted him but he was giving me reasons to be suspicious. I remember reading a message notification on his phone from his close friend asking him if he had decided what girl to pick. That confirmed it for me. When I asked him, the idiot said he wanted to do a photoshoot (he was a photographer) and couldn’t decide who to use as a model. As I resemble mumu. We never saw the photoshoot or the pictures o. I have blocked that part of my service year out of my memory cos he made me feel terrible and I was in a very bad place. I was a different person, so jealous, always stalking him (his phone and social media), trying to get information about him from people, had low self-esteem and was always trying to prove something cos I didn’t want to lose him. To mark my territory, I made us define our relationship so the girl would know to steer clear. For where? It was this love that made me decide to finally have sex with him on our last night together. I was happy we were finally leaving so we could start our lives afresh in Lagos without her.

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We had conversations about it afterward and I told him he made me feel very horrible and treated me very disrespectfully. He apologized and said he never cheated though I didn’t believe him. I was still willing to forgive him and move on with our relationship. We dated for a while after service ended and I even got to meet his siblings. One of my friends back in the town we served started dating this winch and she told him everything that happened between her and my bae. As a good friend now, that one came to tell me so I would be careful, na so kasala burst. Apparently, in my head I was chopping love with my bf in Lagos meanwhile he still used to call winch and even started threatening her to leave my friend alone. Bae and I had one serious fight before my friend came to tell me so it was the nail that sealed the coffin. I was done with the relationship. Bae still denied everything sha and till today I don’t know who lied but someone out of the three of them lied. And I never got closure L but people, I felt true pain and heartbreak. I didn’t talk to him for a long time and still harbored feelings of resentment towards him. It took me over a year to finally get over him. 


Anyway sha I’m over that and I found love again, I’m happier and in a much better place. The experience also taught me to never settle for less than I deserve and never let any man disrespect me no matter how much love we claim to love each other. I regained my self-confidence and always remind myself that I am a strong, smart, beautiful woman and any man that cannot appreciate me for who I am is not worth my time. 

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So NSG to answer your question, the guy is doing well and we recently started talking again strictly as friends though. That ship has sailed and I am not going back. The relationship was great while it lasted but he is not the one for me. Writing this made me so nostalgic. So far, my service year has been one of the best in my life.

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Anon

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