Dilemma of a Lagosian

A home is where the heart is; it is the place one should be the most comfortable and at ease. Supposedly.

To enjoy the benefits a home provides, especially peace and quiet, it might be helpful to consider not living next to

A School
A place of worship
A Market

1.You don’t want to have your house next to a school, especially a nursery & primary school. It might seem OK and unproblematic if you’re one who’s usually out of the house during the day, till the day you are on leave, or home, sick! Imagine the life of stay/work at home people!

A typical day starts with being awoken by kids, who gayly explore their passion for drums and screaming, sorry singing ,with no restraint.

“PARENTS LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN, WE ARE THE LEADERS OF TOMORROW…”

Just as you begin to heave a sigh of relief, thinking the worst is over, loud chants of

“A for apple” rent the air!

Or

“Okoro, why did you weewee on your body? Are you a baby? Can’t you take excuse & go to the toilet?”

Then follows a string of canings. Poor Okoro!

Or

“…9 and 9, ninety-nine, 1-0-0, hundred”…

  1. Some houses of worship need to be a bit more considerate. I know this is very controversial, but the truth is what it is. Imagine having a rough or busy Friday, your head is throbbing, you finally get to sit on your sofa, looking forward to some relaxation, and then comes this very loud microphone from over the fence.
    Or you trying to catch some sleep in the early hours of a day, as had sleepless night; and then comes a very loud speaker from some blocks away.

Heaven help you if you are surrounded by a couple of them.

  1. Ever heard someone say

“Why are you shouting like a market woman?”

Yes, they are that loud. Some of their normal chatters are so loud, now imagine them arguing and fighting. Then add the sounds of grinding machines, butchers cutting meat, knife sharpeners and hawkers.

Like those are not enough, the wastes generated in local markets leave a stench that extends to near buildings.

You think that’s all? Add the rats from the market, a.k.a breeding ground, which find their ways into nearby homes.

Ewwwwww, right?! Of course.

Then, after the hustle of the day and all you can think of is getting in, you find your gate blocked by customers’ cars, despite the bold
‘NO PARKING’ sign.

Thereafter begins the ‘ultimate search’ for the car owner…

CHUBBYTJ

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