Dating is getting harder and harder

Reality has taught me that relationships are complicated even more so today due to social media and the strange norms of my generation. At times, I feel as if I was born in the wrong generation. I live in the era of “Netflix and Chill” that counts as a “date” and some people referring to dating someone as “talking.”
 I live in an era where courting seems somewhat extinct. I live in an era of not wanting a title, but still wanting relationship benefits. I personally think the “friends with benefits” concept rarely works out because going with the flow usually leads to one person developing stronger feelings and initiating the, “What are we?” conversation, which then leads to the “I am not ready for a commitment, but I enjoy what we have and still want to chill with you,” answer (a.k.a. a #situationship).

I live in a social media obsessed era. I feel as though we’re so connected as society due to Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, texting, and constant feeds of what our significant other is doing that it takes away the mystery and “I miss you” factor.

I live in a generation where people are so quick to post photos of their new #bae, #MCE, #WCW and tell the world all about their relationship before they actually let it develop. Then, three months later their posts are deleted and their timeline is full of shady memes about not settling, and knowing their worth. Then, a few months later, either one of the two scenarios occur:

a) They post a new photo of their new boo.

b) They get back with their old boo and post photo with the caption, “What’s understood does not need to be explained.”

God forbid your #bae refuses to post a photo of you on their social media. They’re probably living a double-secret-single life or they could just be a private person that wants to keep their relationship sacred and off social media. However, due to the outside world constantly judging, “Oh he really doesn’t love her, he never posts pictures of her,” this may cause tension in your relationship. 

Some people are so focused on what goes on in their significant other’s phone, they go to great lengths just to break into their phones, which is just a reflection of lack of trust and insecurity existing in the relationship.

At times, I wish I could teleport myself to a time where things seemed simpler, where men were more chivalrous, being in love was praised, and R&B was about the beauty of love, instead of #sidechicks and #thesehoesaintloyal.

I honestly feel that some women in my generation settle for things that they do not want in a relationship. I am not a relationship expert and I am far from perfect, but one thing that I have learned in my own personal dating and relationship experiences is that we as women really hold all the power and set the tone for how we want to be treated. I think this is very important for women to hear (especially millennials) – that we must set the standards of how we want to be treated by our partners, and that alone begins with self-love and figuring out what we value. If we all come to realize the power that we have, we could really change the current dating game.

If you’re at stage in life where you want to date with no strings attached and have fun- that’s cool too. However, if what you crave is a committed relationship, there is no need to settle for a relationship without a commitment. Men know what they want. If a man wants you, he will do whatever it takes.

However, if he tells you he’s not ready, believe him. It is your choice to stay and wait or just move on. Ultimately, you are in power of your own happiness and you set the terms of what you want.

What do you think ladies? Has technology and social media killed off the concept of dating? Are we also to partially blame for the lack of effort behind dating and settling, or is “chilling” simply the new “courting”?

  1. N December 5, 2017
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  3. Lex December 5, 2017
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  4. Pypen December 5, 2017
  5. Bold Baby Pearl December 5, 2017
  6. Innosaint December 5, 2017
  7. John Matilda December 5, 2017
  8. atheist December 5, 2017
    • Kem December 8, 2017
  9. atheist December 5, 2017
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  10. créép December 5, 2017
  11. The Warren Lady December 5, 2017
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  12. AJ December 5, 2017
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  14. Dee December 6, 2017
  15. okoro December 6, 2017
  16. zinta December 6, 2017

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