NOTES Archive

Thank God for Shoprite

I went to Shoprite and I walked from shelf to shelf with the most scanty cart. Shame was even catching me after roaming for an hour with only tissue paper in my cart, as if I am the only one that has toilet at home. I couldn’t

New Year Day recap

I didn’t go to church because I woke up late after the long night I had last year. Side note: I can’t believe yesterday is last year. I was in bed reading until late afternoon. I finally read Chimamanda’s Purple Hibiscus today (I started reading yesterday) and

Yo, 2017

I got to Daystar Church for cross-over service around 5:30pm yesterday. There was no place to sit inside as the church was fully occupied. They wouldn’t even let me in as I kept moving from door to door, pleading to be allowed into the church auditorium even

Chicken Dilemma

It was cold in the morning and there was no power to heat water so I went to work without having a shower. I took my bath around 9:30am, when the sun had come out. I wouldn’t do this on a normal day but three quarters of

Overcrowded Cinemas

I just got back from the cinema. I went to see The Wedding Party (No spoilers please) but was unable to due to the crowd. I actually wanted to see the movie last weekend but delayed because I was avoiding an overcrowded cinema and now this on

Welcome IJGBs

Today’s EatDrinkFestival was a festival of IJGBs. Eveywhere I turned, I heard, “Hakeem, can I get an Uber here?” “Derrick, would you mind some smoothie babe?” “Hey, you got small chops innit?” “O mi God its so fucking crazy.” I even saw a girl wearing a t-shirt

How did yours go?

The only time I stepped out was when I went to sun dry my clothes. Drank about three bottles of soda and ate three plates of rice. I wanted to upload snaps of me working hard like a wife material in the kitchen but I could not

Where did my Christmas go?

I woke up at 3:23am. PHCN had long seized power. I was literally sweating like the Christmas goat we don’t have. I just took off my night dress and laid on the bare ground. And I said, “Wow! So this is supposed to be Christmas?” Christmas eve

All I want for Christmas

I just read the story of the girl who posted her Christmas wish-list on Reddit (The Nairaland of America). Luckily for her, call it divine connections if you may. Bill Gates, the world richest man reached out and sent a box of gifts and a note. HE

Hi

  Used four keke napep today for a 3km destination because the first three keke had a flat tyre before we got to my destination. I felt like I was cursed. I didn’t even know keke napeps suffered from flat tyres.   I witnessed a fight in